Music jokes
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Q: How is lightning like a violist's fingers?
A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
Q: Which positions does a violist use?
A: First, third, and emergency.
Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?
A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.
Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building, which one hits the pavement first?
A: Who cares!
Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
A: Write a whole note with "solo" above it.
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