Music jokes

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Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket?
A: A Chopin Liszt.

Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
A: A pair of Re-bachs.

Q: What do you call a male quartet?
A: Three men and a tenor.

Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"

Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"

A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper.

She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is.

The local person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing."

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